Why do parents get upset at the choices of their grown adult children when they are planning a wedding?

Just boils down to control and the fact that the parents (typically the mother) had an idea of how they wanted the wedding to go down, and when the kids' visions don't mesh up with those ideas, their feelings get hurt and they lash out.

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Grace said it beautifully....and may I point out that even at my age (55) I still listen to what my mother has to say at age 78...there's a lot of Life Experiences there and I would be an idiot not to at least listen.

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I think that things can too far in either direction. On the one hand it seems overbearing for parents to expect 100% control when it is the young couple paying all the bills. On the other, a wedding should be about parents and family, not just about the young (or even not so young) couple. If it is important to a parent that a childhood friend attend, then "Why should I invite people I don't even know?" becomes a selfish question.

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i think it is a sickness to be honest, there is nothing 'sweet' or 'kind' about being over controlling on your daughter/ sons wedding who is an adult trying to build there own family. i think it is so wrong and it is generally the parents acting silly because they dont want to let their 'child' go - which really they should respect them as an adult and not get ridiculously involved after the age of 18. People say they make the 'right' decisions for their daughter/ son - well i know most of the time that is certainly not true. They make it more about themselves then their child - especially when they try to dictate how things should be done and who should be invited. sadly some children seem to be as blind as their parents, not saying all dont have good intentions but for the most, yes, their actions are completely wrong and unneccesary.

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