What would YOU do?? Wedding question?

So my husband's first cousin is getting married. The "woman" he is engaged to had a bridal shower to which I wasn't invited. It was a little offensive but I don't care for her so it wasn't a big deal, just how tacky it was was what shocked me the most. In any event, I'm wondering something. My husband is supposed to be a groomsman and do all this stuff with his cousin prior but my husband feels like, "Screw you, your fiance was rude to my wife..." so he basically doesn't want to do it. What would you do if your husband or wife was treated rudely by your family member in a similar situation? Would you not be in the wedding? Not go? Would you not give a gift?

Opinions?
I think one of the main points is that my husband and I are very involved in the family and my husband and his cousin are VERY close (plus, I've known/been "part of" the family in some form for over 11 years), so I think that is why it bothers my husband so much that I wasn't invited. Plus, it was well known by the other people in the family that I was not invited-like it was almost intentional... and it really bothered other people in the family as well, my mother and sister in law both ended up not going because of it...
In response to something the first answerer said, actually, HE told me that he felt it was extremely rude. I didn't give it much thought initially... I dunno, I'm usually sensitive over certain things, but this didn't get to me at first...


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Seems to me that both of you are over reacting a bit. I assume your husband is doing so because he heard from you that you were hurt by not being invited, not because he doesn't want to be there for his cousin. However, it's not as if this is your future sister in-law, nor are you in the wedding party, nor do you two actually get along (which generally means you don't spend much time together) together well (as you've stated yourself). Your an adult and should be able to deal with these types of issues without putting your husband out with his family. It's never a good idea to come between a person and their family over trivial thing such as this. Tell your husband that it's not a big deal, that your fine with situation now and that he needs to be part of his cousins wedding so he doesn't affect their relationship and later regret this choice. You need to think more about him and his relationship with his family than you need to worry about how his cousins fiance will affect your life. My guess is that both your and his fiance have attitudes (as your usage of the word woman in quotes would suggest) that impede your ability to behave yourselves and think of the people your affecting in your lives.

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Your husband should be a man and step up to the plate. He should tell his cousin what happened and that he expects him to talk to his fiance and find out what happened. Tell your husband that you expect an apology from her personally. You are family first.

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When my wife & I got married, 42 yrs ago, my parents did not approve and have not spoken to us since. When my brother was getting married, he asked me to stand up with him. Our other brother was going to be best man. My parents decided to come to his wedding at the last minute, but only if my family was not there. So my brother asked them not to come. This was just days before the wedding. I told him I would not back out of the wedding ceremony and leave them with an unattended brides maid, but I would not come to the reception. I was not upset with my brother. He was only 18 and just didn't know how to handle the situation. Then, when my other brother asked me to be in his wedding, but my family was not welcome, I declined, and did not even attend.

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Weddings are set ups to get at least one person hurt/ offended/ left out. That is just the nature of family and weddings. I suggest that you not be the reason your hubby loses contact with his cousin. Get them some crystal, go to the wedding and be the bigger person. Remember, What comes around goes around.

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